You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
