I have demons in me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize