THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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