it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
