I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
