I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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