If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
