Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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