That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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