very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
