Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
