They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
