i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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