My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
nutella sex= disaster
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
