You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
