Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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