He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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