I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everyone says I win the strip club
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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