Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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