I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
