i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
