oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
