To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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