You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
420 ftw
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
