arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His nipple licking is glorious
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