If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
