Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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