You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
