is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
