You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
