:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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