we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
