Non-Jews are for practice
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
