Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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