I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
