maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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