i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
