come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
