party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
