Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
