Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
