I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
