how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry about my life...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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