i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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