Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
