i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
