so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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