This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
accomplished twins. life is a go
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
