I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
