i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
